The Day I Became Poseidon

It was "one of those days".

You know those days; when the four elements swing against your favour at every turn. It seems as though  the gods of past and present, from Anubis to Mars, from Buddha to L. Ron. Hubbard, have devised a chain of self perpetuating events determined to make you stub your toe and stuff.  The world is against you and its plans to ruin your day consist purely of incrementally worsening incidents of annoyance until the final straw breaks. There is always a broken final straw.

On this day the chain of events culminated in the washing machine stopping mid-cycle. I didn't notice and opened the door only to be greeted by a miniature tidal wave of inky water. I instinctively shut the door, but could not open it again. The machine was broken with my clothes still inside it. It held them prisoner in a glass cage (or plastic, whatever). I decided to restart the cycle to see if it would free them. It did not. On the third attempt (around 1 AM) I decided that I would open the floodgates with a ten litre bucket under the door to catch the water. I soon discovered that the washing machine held considerably more than ten litres of water.

"Shit."

As the bucket filled I tried to empty it into the sink as quickly as possible so I could get it back under the door. The speed with which the water hit the sink made it erupt upwards like a volcano, and only slightly less infernal. There comes a point during days like these that you must make a decision. You will inevitably end up either exploding with rage hitting everything in sight like a confused Pokemon, or taking it all in stride and laughing. On this occasion I laughed maniacally like a rapper (namely Mike Jones)  introducing his latest track as I threw half boiling water around the kitchen.

The clothes were also hovering around fifty degrees Celsius. They were also still in need of a rinse out that could compete with the entire collection of 90's Drum and Bass. I figured it'd be best to do this in the bath, but because of the way it was built I couldn't reach the taps without actually getting in the bath with the clothes. This meant that I had to rinse them out naked under the running tap like a time travelling troglodyte.

Getting to bed felt like drinking a crisp pint of cider after a trek through the desert.